Coupla days ago I was riding BopOp’s Globe (an upright, diamond-frame bike) home from the train. I was cursing my strained pelvic floor (rather than thinking about how to fix my recumbent) when one of those small ironies of bicycling occurred.
With perhaps a slight redefinition of irony, let’s explore this and see what comes out.

Coming around a long slow corner I pulled my head out of it’s slump to notice a vehicle in an unusual location. It was stalled on the far side of the street and a disheveled man was just getting out with a small gas can. As I made eye contact he ironied me.

Hey! Can you spare a brother a gallon of gas?

In my current condition I wasn’t real quick, and the question actually stunned me for a moment, but I still had the wits to come up with this retort as I rode by;

Sorry man, all I got is burritos!

I chuckled to myself all the way home and even tried coming up with a better reply.
I only came up with

Looks like you need to get a bike!

I think the burrito’s one was better with all due respect to the zeropergallon.com website but I think this remains one of the great opportunities, a TON of material, for a truly good one-liner.

Can you think of a better one (I’m lookin at you Jame)?
I kinda want to have a ringer pre-loaded for the next time somebody asks me for a gallon of gas…while riding my bike.
And, if your retort can pull double duty for when someone in the stall asks me, standing at the urinal,

Hey! Can you spare a brother a square?

…well, if you can do that you will get special recognition on blief.
I am the judge and jury on this one and I still might be the winner cause the burrito line was good.

Apparently we can’t get enough of the whole costume thing around here. For Abby’s birthday UN-birthday party she had planned an Alice in Wonderland theme.
She planned it, The Mommy executed. The Daddy and Emma just showed up.
And by executed I mean

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

There is so much material in Alice in Wonderland that we could have simply conversed entirely in Alice quotes all day long and never repeated ourselves. In fact I did; well…at least the former. My tongue nearly stuck in a perma-lithp.

Here is an excellent group shot we got just before the festivities began and afterwards I include some detail shots because we were just all in character.

It was a very, merry, unbirthday for all.

From the top we have; a bunny (the third one in the house these days), Lyra Belacqua in her winter attire, and a sheepie with whiskers.

There. Done. What a cute little black sheepie nose!
I ‘ant whiskews.
What?
I ‘ant whiskews.
But honey, Sheepies don’t have whiskers?
[pointing to the extreme hemispheres of her cheeks] Looong ones.
Ok…whiskers it is.
…
MOM! [running to tell] Daddy’s putting whiskers on Emma!!!
[from afar-loud] Daddy?! Sheepies don’t have whiskers!
[to afar-loud] This one does!
[from afar] Ok.

Another choice moment came at one of the first houses we hit up for candy.

Emma…uh Sheepie…What do you say when they open the door?
[door opens and holding out her punkin bag]
Pleeeeeze!

She got lots of candy.